Schweeeden ya!

Midsummer Madness

2008-06-25T01:41:00.000-07:00

Kebops and Gyros

2008-06-16T12:35:00.000-07:00

Term has finally come to a close, and although the Swedish schedule never really consisted of much class time in the first place – school is now officially out for summer. As such, I managed to lure Alex away from his Dexter’s lab life for a full TWO WEEKS!

Thanks to cheap tickets online & a variety of intra-Europe budget airlines, we managed to get a killer deal on a multi-city flight: Stockholm-Athens & Istanbul-Stockholm. The only trick lay in getting from Athens to Istanbul, but alas… we would figure that out when we got there. I mean people must do it all the time right? How hard could it be?

Well apparently nobody was a keen on the idea as me. First off, Greek people hate Turkey, so trying to convey to them that, yes in fact we did want to go to Istanbul was challenge #1. When they finally conceded that perhaps it is possible to harbor a desire to see Turkey, they insisted that the reality of getting there was absolutely “impossible”.

I had done some reading and found that instead of taking a 24hour bus between the two cities, you could in fact take a boat to the Greek Island of Lesvos, then a ferry to the Turkish mainland and bus up the coast from there.

With images of dolphins floating in my mind, I was hell-bent on taking the boat, despite all the discouraging advice of travel agents who thought we should either:
a) pay 80euros to the Greek bus company or b) just stay in Athens.

Against the advice of the Greeks who feared that Turkey harbored nothing but peril, and that of the American’s who feared Greek-Turkey relations were so dire that we would be held up at the border – we set off.

First: the overnight boat to Lesvos. This was an entirely ‘local’ experience, seeing how the boat was a low budget version of the BC Ferries, where one’s bed consisted of a patch of carpeted floor space. We were the only tourists aboard and, seeing how all announcements were in Greek, were quickly submerged into the local culture.

When we arrived at the Port, we met an adorable Greek man with a thick Aussie accent who helped us buy tickets to Turkey and sent us on our way through customs 10minutes later.

Next: Not only did we see the aforementioned dream-dolphins, but we also met a Professor of Political Science from the University of Kansas and his German wife who were also making their way up to Istanbul (or as the Greeks like to say, Constantinople).
The four of us joined forces and by midnight we found ourselves in the former capital of the Roman empire and current city of 13 million…
Let the games begin.

Swedish Holidays and Raw Fish

2008-05-10T00:02:00.000-07:00

“Ask any foreigner what he or she knows about Sweden and the answer will be along the lines of Bjorn Borg, Volvo, Saab, Ikea, watches and raw fish. Unfortunately, Borg has emigrated to Monaco, while Volvo and Saab have been taken over by American auto giants Ford and General Motors. Ikea has moved its headquarters to Denmark and watches are made in Switzerland not Sweden. So that leaves raw fish…”

Yes Raw Fish.... just to clarify we're not talking Japanese sashimi here. We're talking about disgusting pickled herring - some of which smells so bad, that people struggle to keep their stomachs under control as they open the canister. For some reason Swedes like to taint all of their holidays by serving this so-called delicacy.

But fish aside, Swedish holidays can be quite entertaining, so I thought I'd take the time to give you the low down.

Easter Long Weekend

The best thing about having Swedish friends is that they often invite you over for food. As such Alex and I were blessed to be invited by our good friend Staffan to his summer home in the Stockholm archipelago for Easter. It took a car, a mini tug boat, an 'island taxi' and a good pair of legs to get there, but the trip was well worth it. His parents are as delightful as he is, and they even took the time to set up a traditional Swedish easter egg hunt . As you can see from the picture below, Swedish eggs far exceed ours in size (the age old "my egg is bigger than your egg" type deal) - but this is simply so you can find them in the banks of snow.

Another little diddy of Swedish tradition is that mid-meal, everyone will burst into song (harmonizing of course) and then cap it off with a shot of ridiculously strong alcohol which tastes remarkably like pure vodka.

All in all it was a great time!

Walporgis Night: April 30th

Official Description, "around the country bonfires welcome spring, with students donning their white caps and making merry. Int he student town of Uppsala, Walporgis includes fine student choirs, a river rafting carnival and many other events"

Reality: a completely drunken gongshow

Part three: Riga, Latvia

2008-04-20T11:31:00.001-07:00

A ridiculous advertisement at our hostel for an AK-47 tour
A example of the amazing architecture in Old Riga
Yet another Russian Orthodox Cathedral where we enjoyed a smoky prayer session

The freedom monument, (banned during Russian occupation)

Part two: Tallin again:)

2008-04-20T11:28:00.001-07:00

my friend kristina (right) let us stay at her second apartment with her housecleaner (left) for a night as we checked out the city

julia and i do the baltic states (minus lithuania, plus finland)

2008-04-20T11:08:00.000-07:00

PART ONO: FINLAND, HELSINKI

Goal: SMU reunion.

Thanks to a widespread facebook addiction, I discovered that my old friend Pete was now living in Finland (after some stints in Thailand, Canada, Scotland and Germany)... So what better excuse to board an overnight boat to Helsinki (which costs the same as riding the bus 4 times). Julia came up from Germany, and the two of us set out on a 7 day excusion in Eastern Europe.

Above: making sushi dinner with fresh baltic fish.

we arrive aboard the cruise ship, after a hectic adventure the day before, whereby we went to the wrong cruise ship terminal and had to run with all our luggage in attempt to find a ship sailing to finland. I think I lost 5lbs in sweat! This madness was the result of a proven scientific fact which is: Swedes are incapable of giving directions. (this is not meant to be a derogatory statement, but ask any foreigner in Sweden and they will tell you that if you actually listened to Swedish advice you would believe that there are no bus stops, no pay phones, no convince stores etc. because when you ask anyone where they are they will always reply "I have no idea")
A sample of Finish high-end fashion

Julia boards a WW2 submarine

A visit from my Germanic friend!

2008-03-23T13:38:00.001-07:00

A little walk through time at the Stockholm city museum where I romance Jules
Typical Swedish design
Changing of the guards - snore...
The vasa museum - a testament to swedens biggest failure, a viking ship that sank in the stockholm harbour before even making it out to the baltic
Swedes trying to pretend spring has arrived while seeking protection from the hail
Julia in all her shining glory
Stockholms newest trend: knitted graffiti

Mumblings about frozen toes and artic life

2008-03-23T13:37:00.000-07:00

A trip up north

Like any good journey it began with 17hour train ride (seated, not one of those nice sleeper things, oh no) that was delayed by 1.5hours. So 18.5 hours later, after spending most of the night like a Chinese contortionist we arrived slightly bruised and most definitely deranged. But it was worth it! Here we were caught in –25 degree winds, ready to breathe in the artic air.

But we didn’t get much because a) it was cold enough to frost our lungs over and b) we quickly sought refuge 2km underground in a mine shaft.

It was here that we were blest with a 3 hour tour (ya gilligan’s island much) by a woman
who had been stuck down there for far too many years and was going gradually insane.
Not mention she had the most ear-piercing mechanical voice we’d ever heard AND… she yelled at us :0 Needless to say we wondered if we’d make it out alive. They say about this about the Swedish language:

“Every Finnish sentence starts in falsetto and ends in baritone. Norwegian sounds like Finnish intoned backwards but it’s actually a Swedish dialect. The Danes with their diphthongs and glottal stops sound as if they are caught between swallowing and spitting out a very hot potato. Only the Swedish language has evolved from grunted Icelandic gobbledygook to become the familiar sing-song sounds that slosh about in your ear.”

There was no sing-song slosh in her voice – let me tell you!

Anyways, we had survived and we even had fun (as evidenced by the ludicrous photos below) and then it was off to the middle of nowhere in our 9 seater soccer mom van.

This middle of nowhere happened to be Abisko, a tiny town in the woods in the artic circle – where we managed to get a very brief and blurring glimpse of the northern lights.

Next day, we randomly drove to Norway – why not!? Saw some reindeer along the way, took some nice photos – it was basically the sea to sky highway covered in snow, I’m not gonna lie. Why Norwegians bother to come to Whistler I have no idea, its exactly like Norway only warmer and less expensive (ok I guess I have some sort of idea).

You must look up Narvik on a map because it is ridiculously far north – I’m talking Santa Clause’s factory here.

Then back to Kiruna. I’ll recap this in point form to save you time: Alex almost killed me with his crazy snow mobile driving, we went for a dog sled excursion, we saw the ice hotel, we admired the ice hotel, we took pictures of the ice hotel, we worshiped the ice hotel…

Then we stayed in the coziest, cutest, quintessential Swedish hotel for the night and sadly returned our soccer mom van (tear) and went back to a significantly warmer Uppsala.

Winter Wonderland

2008-03-23T13:32:00.000-07:00

pics from alexs cellphone (sadly better than my own camera)

2008-02-27T06:29:00.000-08:00

The conference hall in Uppsala featuring an assortment of infinately long escalators

The surprise birthday cake alexs family presented me at midnight at his moms 50th bday dinner (which happened to go from Feb9th to the morning of the 10th)
One of many seeminly out of place statues at the nation nightclub
Würzburg/ex-UBC boys reunite on february 10th to celebrate the birthdays of Basti and I
(me, Basti, Holger, Philip, Martin and Max)

smorgis board of sweden - meaningless photos with commentary

2008-02-26T01:27:00.000-08:00

My favorite candle lit bakery: Cafe Linnes
The main river of Uppsala. This bridge is miraculous in that it connects my two favorite places in the city: Isak's house and my favorite bakery

Above: Norrland's nation welcome dinner. (Alex's nation)

All of a sudden I feel like I have adopted the persona of Hermione from Harry Potter. I think this may have something to do with the fact that Swedish Nations are very much like Hogwarts Houses, particularly the banquet halls. Each nation has a huge medieval mansion where they hold candle lit dinners with choirs and Swedish folk songs, and huge gasques (a Swedish ball) and masquerades etc. Traditionally Swedes are given their nation based on heritage, so us Internationals obviously get to choose our own (and there's no sorting hat to help, unfortunately). The difference between Nations and hogwarts houses is that there are 12 nations as oppose to 4, and in the evenings they transform their 13th century estates into raging nightclubs. I have to say its quite odd partying next to 2ton oak book shelves and painted portraits of academic legends - but i do my best.

Above: salmon, bacon, ham, shrimp and caviar in a tube.
For some reason the swedes seem to think that its appropriate to color any type of meat white and stick it in a tube. I have yet to understand this foreign logic.
The SEMLA. Yes this bun filled with marzipan and whipped cream may contain 2000 calories but that doesnt stop me from having at least one a day - a sad state of affairs which has forced me to up my daily gym hours to 2 per day, just to keep the scale from rising astronomically.
Uppsala at night. Christmas-like trees which look surprisingly like hallucinogenic mushrooms
My piece of ass bicycle, who's only attribute is that it hasn't yet been thrown in the river (knock on wood). we're talking no gears, back breaks, and the world's shortest seat here!

Each night multiple bikes get thrown in the river by drunk students who obviously have an undercover campaign against environmentally friendly transportation. Thus every April the city has to hire a team of divers to remove TONS of bicycles - were talking over 500 - before the annual canoe race. Fishing in the river has now been made impossible, since the only thing people catch are old bicycle parts.
Evidence of my new domesticated lifestyle. That's right I've learnt to cook, and i'm surprising decent at it!

Trip to Germany

2008-02-26T01:03:00.000-08:00

Oh mister sun, sun mister golden sun please shine down on me...

Though sung in English, this is indeed a Swedish mantra at heart - one which i grew very fond of in my first month of nordic winter (which apparently is the warmest they've had in 250years! But this record-breaking lack of snow has been accompanied by an equally impressive lack of sunlight... thus i am slowly transforming into an avid supporter of the tanning salon)

The point of this very Milan Kundera dark vs. lightness analysis, is only to say "Thank God for Germany!"

As the pictorial evidence above testifies, Germany is a brilliant land of fun and sun. So for 3 whole days, Alex and I basked in the 15degree sunshine while strolling the streets of
Rothenburg and some little German village that starts with a 'G'.

GREATEST YOUTUBE CLIPS OF SWEDEN EVER!

2008-02-11T06:25:00.001-08:00

#1) swedish pole dancing (type "swedish pole dancing")

#2) Swedish Ikea commercial banned in Germany (type "Ikea banned commercial midsummer")

Stockholm Opera House

2008-02-11T06:16:00.000-08:00

the room where you buy your diet coke at intermission

the theatre itself

Alex and I enjoy the best seats in the house and watch the 100th anniversary tribute to Sweden's most celebrated ballet choreographer for under $20cdn. It was a dream come true!!

See last picture for the visual of my elfish hat.

Nuddie paintings and Christian Rock concerts

2008-02-05T04:29:00.000-08:00

Alex and I weren't sure what to do on Wed night, so we did what any couple in their twenties would: we climbed to the top of Uppsala's castle tower and attempted to paint a festively plump (or as the Bastswana would say "traditionally built") nude woman, while overlooking the citylights down below (since castles, as you know, are always on the top of a the highest hill).

How did we get there? Well after translating an advertisement in the paper, we drove to the castle and walked up tower. This may seem like an easy task, but don't be deceived ~ Not wanting to wait for the ancient elevator, we decided that 5 flights of stairs was easy enough and started climbing. Little did we know there is floor L, and then 0, before you even reach 1... AND in between each flight of stairs is a half flight of stairs (wtf?). So it goes like this: L, L.5, O, o.5, 1, 1.5, 2, 2.5...so it ended up being more like 14 flights of stairs and I would up pretty much hyperventilating on my way into class.

Anyways, the point of the story is only to say that while everyone around us may have produced some da vinci quality sketches, alex and I produced 10 pages of glorified stick figures. At least we sucked equally :)

Then thursday rolled around. Sure we could have gone to the bar like every other normal couple in this city, but instead we decided to go see the Robbie Williams vs. Pink Floyd Laser show in the Uppsala cathedral put on my the Catholic church. A very interesting experience indeed and I will leave that one to your imagination.

Perhaps the greatest song choices were "who wants to live forever?" and "another one bites the dust". the irony was enough to throw our entire pew into a fit of laughter

Tallin in pictures

2008-02-05T04:28:00.000-08:00

My favorite art gallery of all time (its underground!)
Russian-style Church
Adam,Min,Dave,Alanna and Me in the Cruise ship Caberet
Cruise-ship madness
Arriving in Tallin

How I came to buy an elfish hat

2008-02-05T03:56:00.000-08:00

A day in Tallin:

Tallin, the nation's capital, has been an underdog for years - occupied by the Danes, the Swedes, the Germans and the Russians - yet a survivor in all its glory.

The Russians didn't withdraw their tanks until 1994, but looking at the city's Old town you are reminded much more of a quaint medieval village than a Soviet town.

Despite the dismal weather, the cityscape stilled gleamed. Ancient fortifying walls, Europe's oldest Gothic town hall, russian-style cupolas, winding alleyways, and women dawning medieval wardrobes all added to the majestic aura of the place.

The guild was still alive and well, and as a result there were the most spectacular blacksmiths, leather craftsmen and artists at every turn. Of course i had to embrace the artistic flair of the place and purchase a semi-ridulous, semi-quaint pointed hat, from a women with a huge swing in the center of her knitting shop because, quote: "a swing brings happiness to everyone"!

THE MAGICAL JOURNEY TO ESTONIA

2008-02-05T03:31:00.000-08:00

IMPORTANT BACKGROUND INFORMATION (a prelude if you will)

According to the Xenphobes guide to the Swedes, “Becoming rich in Sweden has never been easy. As Ingmar Bergman found out, even millionaires can have difficulties making ends meet when income tax is levied at 102%”

However, becoming poor in sweden is not such a challenge when even Ikea has upped its prices. Alex and I where wandering around looking for a mattress until finally I thought I'd found a thin fluffy mattress cover that would suffice for under one-hundred dollars. When we asked the clerk to go pick one up for us, she laughed and said the price we were looking at was for the twin-sheet!

Bus ticket for a 10 min ride to the city = $5
Coffee and a biscuit at a cafe = $10
Parking in Stockholm for 5hrs = $45

You must keep these prices in mind when I tell you that Alex and I booked a 2 day, overnight ferry, round-trip to Estonia for $60 each. And these were the private, two-person room prices - it got way cheaper the more people you crammed into your cell.

You can only imagine the horror stories that were running through my head as we booked two tickets to cross the Baltic sea aboard a ship belonging to a former USSR satallite. Images of 10 hour African bus rides & overnight Vietnamese trains flashed before my eyes, as I contemplated whether or not there would even be a proper toilet seat on board.

But as Estonia is on my "top 10 must sees before i die" list, I gladly handed over my debit card, while my friend witty friend Dave recollected his not-so-fortunate experiences aboard Romanian trains.

THE EXPERIENCE (now we're getting into the thick of the plot here)

We reach the port: myself, Alex, Dave(US), Alana (Australia), Min (US) and Adam (US).
I peer past two huge cruise ships trying to get at glimpse at the inflatable raft that's about to ferry us across, when I realize that according to my tickets those cruise ships are actually there for US!!!

This comes as sheer delight as I realize that for the next 42 hours we will be subjugated to all the classic cruise ship lore - bad renditions of the YMCA, limbo, and Abba tunes, gambling, martinis and the world's most disgusting & overpriced fast food. Seriously 3 words: over the moon!!

Why Sweden reminds me of japan

2008-02-05T03:29:00.000-08:00

1) because I cant afford the bus
2) because I have to bring slippers with me everywhere
3) because it requires a bike with a basket to boot
4) the shower heads are equally strange
5) its well practiced in the art of homogeneity
6) raw fish = life

Capital of Scandinavia: Stockholm

2008-01-23T12:32:00.000-08:00

Alex's Solar Cell research team! (actually, thats them)

2008-01-23T12:30:00.001-08:00

time to make myself a tinfoil suit and learn all the lyrics to dancing queen

2008-01-16T10:34:00.000-08:00

Thank God I live in a student town!!

2008-01-16T10:27:00.000-08:00

a quick lesson in swedish demographics from the Xenophobes guide to the Swedes:

"in the days of the vikings the worst dishonor, next to cowardice, that could befall a warrior was to survive every battle only to die of old age. If, however, he was fortunate enough to have two sons, he could save his honor by having them push him over the edge of a cliff. This cliff was known as the Ancestral Precipice.

Today the elderly are treated more sympathy. Even so, the low birth rate coupled with the high life expectancy makes for a top heavy society with many wrinkles...The growing population of pensioners [who earn 60% of their highest salary] is being supported by a steadily shrinking workforce, so the ancestral precipice may soon become popular again"

brief intro to uppsala

2008-01-16T10:23:00.001-08:00

Above: What it is
Above: what it looks like 18hrs of the day
Above: what it feels like